


The Trickster and the Space Roach - a Loki x Noh-Varr Oneshot

by AbraKaDeborah



Category: Marvel (Comics), Young Avengers (Comics)
Genre: M/M, absolutely a joke, im sorry, noh-varr fuckers rise up, not to be taken seriously at all, send me to jail
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-06-16
Updated: 2019-06-16
Packaged: 2020-05-13 01:29:57
Rating: Mature
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 870
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/19241083
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/AbraKaDeborah/pseuds/AbraKaDeborah
Summary: Just a whole lot of dicking around in space for 800 or so words





	The Trickster and the Space Roach - a Loki x Noh-Varr Oneshot

**Author's Note:**

> This one goes out to the sigh. gc on twitter. I'm sorry... also follow me @kaplankinney on twitter.

** The Trickster and The Space Roach – A Teen Loki x Noh-Varr  ** ** Oneshot **

“AAAAAGHHH-” Loki’s scream of sheer panic was cut short by his face hitting the metal floor. Ten seconds prior, he was being chased by orc-like creatures with spiked clubs on some planet he was trying to take over. Actually, now he thought about it, he didn’t even know the planet’s name... Anyways, he created a portal and willed himself to the nearest safe place.

He got to his feet, swishing a hand over his broken nose to heal it and looked around him. He was inside what looked to be a spacecraft. The interior was incredibly sleek and mostly chrome and white, except for green neon lights that pulsated every now and again.

Suddenly, Loki heard footfall on the metal floor and raised his palms, unsure whether it was in preparation for surrender of offensive magic. He had no idea what assailant was about to appear through a doorway or around a corner. Perhaps this was a  Kree  or  Skrull  spacecraft. That would suck... The door ahead of Loki slid open and revealed... NOH-VARR?

The white-haired man looked as shocked as Loki, frozen in the doorway. He was wrapped in nothing but a towel and had a toothbrush in his mouth, toothpaste frothing out of the corners, and a  Kree  blaster in the other. Obviously, Loki had come at a bad time.  _ Or a good one... _  Loki thought to himself.

“Hi... buddy... old pal,” Loki smiled gently, as if that would somehow make up for the fact that he had seemingly broken into Noh’s spaceship. “How are... things?”

“Not too goo- WAIT A MINUTE. HOW DID YOU GET ON MY  SHIP?”The  toothbrush and most of the toothpaste fell out of Noh’s mouth as he yelled, some of it trickling down his abs. Loki watched it as it went... distracted by... the... chiselled... “HELLO, SPACE TO LOKI??”

“Uh, the door! I came in the door!” Loki managed to get out, snapping back to reality.  _ God he’s hot for a cockroach _ .

“We’re in space, if you came through the door we’d both be dead.”

“I meant a portal, an intergalactic, interdimensional door. I was in a spot of trouble and cast a spell to take me to a safe place. And... here I am.” Loki did a little flourish with his hands.

“Okay.” Noh shrugged and walked back the way he came.

Loki stood there stunned for a second. Okay? That’s all he had to say to the teenaged god of mischief randomly  portaling  onto his in-flight spacecraft? Loki, began to follow him, thinking that ‘Noh-Braincells’ was a better name for the  Kree  boy.

“Noh?” Loki called out.

“In here!” He followed the sound of Noh’s voice into a room down the hall or deck or whatever a space hallway is called. As he entered the room he shrieked. 

Noh- Varr  stood there, entirely naked, hands on his hips. Now, Loki, would probably not have screamed at this, had he not been suddenly confronted by Noh’s TWO GIGANTIC PENISES! YES, TWO. One was flaccid and the other was rock hard. Loki had seen a lot in his time but this had caught him off guard. All he could do was point and  incoherently  stutter.

Noh nonchalantly looked down at his dicks. “Oh yeah, I have one more than most people. I though everyone knew that? It makes peeing standing up... messy.” Loki just blinked in response.

“And why is that one erect?” Loki asked, looking at the Noh’s left penis cautiously. He could.ve sworn it was watching him.

“Oh, that’s the gay one. I think he likes you. Do you  wanna  give him a stroke?” Noh began to pet his own dick and Loki choked on his own saliva.

“E-excuse me? Do I  wanna ... stroke your gay second dick?” Noh nodded in response and Loki thought over his options in his head. He could portal out again, but he was spent from the first jump. There was a risk he could teleport himself into dead space. There was also the option to knock Noh out, hijack the ship and land on the nearest planet. Or... no. He couldn’t. Could he? No. But what if... Hm.

“Does it bite?” Loki smiled at Noh and Noh grinned back.

***

Loki and Noh sat beside each other in the cockpit of the ship. (Actually, it was the second cockpit; the ship had one at either end.) Noh was dressed now and Loki had changed into some of Noh’s spare clothes after the sensual events of the last few hours. Loki put his feet up on the dashboard, reclining in his chair, a lot more relaxed than when he was being chased by space creatures.

He certainly hadn’t expected his escape from danger to lead to him sleeping with his extremely hot two-dicked space roach team member, but here they both were.

“Where to now?” Noh asked, grinning across at him.

“I  wanna  see the stars.” Loki extended his palm into the empty space between them and Noh met it with his own, putting the spaceship into lightspeed mode.

And thus began the adventures of the trickster and the space roach...

** The End? **


End file.
